"Sounds like riveting stuff," I reply. "As riveting as that Space Hospital show, even. Lucky for you, I have no interest in auditioning." I might have begun to develop an affection for shitty television, but like hell am I letting a stranger know that.

"Aw, damn. There goes my chance," I say with mock sincerity. I would make a terrible actor; I always say what I feel and I always promote what I believe to be the truth in any given situation.