Too much to believe, too much to deny, you fool me again to quiet my pride

[plaguedrat]

He'd stubbornly avoided the city's latest mischief. Any glimmer of glass or crystal had sent him walking in the opposite direction, determined not to get involved. Didn't want to see his future, didn't trust destiny or fate or any preconceived future.

But lately it seemed as though the damn things were following him. The more he walked away, the more Rat found the glinting spheres in his other directions. Apparently, they had a message for him.

"Fuck you," he muttered, even as scooped the stone into his palm.

Grey. Grey back but his rat tattoo nowhere to be seen. Grey who lounged by Curtis, exchanging lazy kisses with the devotion he used to think he would enjoy forever. Now he had no interest, no memory of Rat. All he wanted was Curtis.

Curtis pinning Grey to the bed with his good arm, forearm across his shoulder blades, marking him up with bites. Kisses. Fucking him.

Rat, unloved, alone.

Snarling, Rat threw the crystal aside. "It's not real."

Comments

[plaguedrat]

"I got lucky." He'd had help from Sion, from Elyurias. Otherwise he would have certainly succumbed to those wounds long before the end of the Holy Day. Instead he'd survived and walked away, stained and bloody, but whole. "Luckier than I deserved."

Sion had deserved it. Other, better people had deserved it. Rat had simply been gifted in enduring here better people couldn't.

He tilted his head thoughtfully, dropping a kiss on Marius' neck before he could think with his brain. When they'd crashed into that room at Kagura, they'd been clouded and lusty but they'd felt so very alive despite it. Even if only for a moment, he wanted to feel that alive again. He wanted to feel Marius.

[pontmercyfriend]

Marius wants to tell him that of course he deserves to be lucky; to be lucky enough to survive multiple bullet wounds and survive the hell of his own life. But he knows that the other man would just protest at any verbal attempt of convincing. Instead, he rubs soothing circles on the man's arms locked around his waist, putting as much warmth as he can into the touch.

They've both endured where others have fallen, and they both, in their own ways, bear their own guilt about it.

He feels Rat tilt his head; his skin tingles from the motion of it, and when the kiss lands on his neck, his breath catches in his throat. That night at Kagura lingers in his mind, even fogged as it was by lust and the desperation to escape loneliness. Rat's touch illuminated him like a spirit then, even as it does now. He'd felt alive for the first time in months; he feels alive now and he yearns for Rat.

Moving his own head and bringing one hand up to cup Rat's jaw, he pulls him in for a kiss, slow and deep like a growing flame.

[plaguedrat]

Rat wouldn't have agreed, probably never would, but hat was why neither of them said anything. He could feel Marius' intent over his skin in those tiny, comforting circles. The touch was no panacea but it was at least a balm on the freshest wounds.

And it felt so good to be kissed. There was no hesitation, no attempt to Push Marius away as Rat leaned back into the kiss, enjoying the sounds and touch of a person becoming more and more familiar every day whether he tried to stop it or not.

He wanted this warmth, this memory. Rat leaned forward and returned the kiss, his skin thrumming with the chance to love someone else.

[pontmercyfriend]

The silence between them settles like candlelight; even without saying anything, warmth permeates between them, sparking between fingers and skin as Marius continues his soothing motions as they kiss. Just being able to provide such a simple touch thrills Marius and opens his mind to all the ways he'd like to show the other man his affections.

He gasps every time their lips part, always wanting more. Kissing, such a delicate, seemingly simple art; yet with Rat, Marius finds himself caught up in the intricate dance of their mouths moving together, colliding and recoiling with the sanguine, serpentine ease of the tide. He shivers a bit at the lack of hesitation, letting his hand curl into the edges of his hair.

He turns to fully face Rat, bringing his other hand to grasp the other side of his face. Everything about the other man begins to feel familiar to him, and he relishes the sensation, his nose brushing against Rat's as they continue to kiss. He feels illuminated in his presence.